{"id":1274,"date":"2023-12-03T15:58:23","date_gmt":"2023-12-03T15:58:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/?p=1274"},"modified":"2023-12-03T16:09:27","modified_gmt":"2023-12-03T16:09:27","slug":"talk-too-much","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/03\/talk-too-much\/","title":{"rendered":"Talk Too Much"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Talk Too Much: What is ROCD?<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Relationship OCD can take many forms. It can be intrusive thoughts about the integrity of the relationship, such as persistent fear that your partner or yourself is going to cheat. It could be about the integrity of the people within the relationship. This can cause self doubt about your ability to sustain a relationship, or doubt about your partner that causes you to pick apart all of their behavior for signs that you aren\u2019t meant to be together. It\u2019s an insidious subset of the disorder that can make maintaining relationships incredibly draining and challenging without treatment.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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\u201cTalk Too Much\u201d by Rene\u00e9 Rapp is a very accurate depiction of relationship obsessions and compulsions. It covers multiple intrusive thoughts that can be associated with it, some of which can also overlap with other categories of obsessions. The song is absolutely worth listening to, and the lyrics are especially valuable in understanding what Relationship OCD can look like.<\/span>
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Tasted the blood in my mouth<\/span><\/i><\/p>

And left you there to bleed out<\/span><\/i><\/p>

It didn’t feel like a dream<\/span><\/i><\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

Woke up and you looked so cute<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Don’t think I could love you more<\/span><\/i><\/p>

So, what the hell does it all mean?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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This first section could be interpreted as both harm OCD and relationship OCD. It\u2019s implied to be centered around a romantic partner. However, the focus of the thoughts are on physical harm. \u201cAnd left you there to bleed out\u201d is the line that feels the most aligned with relationship OCD. OCD as a whole is centered around fear. Intrusive thoughts are the worst possible outcomes brought to life. Therefore, relationship OCD tends to center on the relationship harming the person with OCD, their partner, or both of them. In this case, the protagonist fears hurting her partner just to leave. This, combined with the line of \u201cDon\u2019t think I could love you more\u201d implies that during the dream, she didn\u2019t love her partner. This is a common fear within relationship OCD, that you don\u2019t truly feel love for them, or that the love you feel isn\u2019t \u201creal\u201d love.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Another point this section brings up is how these thoughts and feelings can ebb and slow. Sometimes the relationship can be painless and easy, and moments later you\u2019ll be overwhelmed with these intrusive thoughts. Those two phases can shift in severity and amount of time they last, and often can cause all relationship imagery to have the potential to be triggering.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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I’m here again<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Talking myself out of my own happiness<\/span><\/i><\/p>

I’ll make it up ’til I quit<\/span><\/i><\/p>

I wonder if we should just sit here in silence ’cause<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Ooh, I think I talk too much<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Ooh, I think I talk too much<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Ooh, I think I talk too much<\/span><\/i><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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I debated removing the repetition from this at first. The point was the lyrics, so I didn\u2019t need to show the same line more than once. But after further reconsideration, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s correct. The use of repetition is actually what draws me to music as a potential representation of OCD. OCD is a cycle. It happens over and over again, obsessions and compulsions feeding each other. Repetition of the thoughts, of the compulsions, of the cycle itself, all of this is integral to the disorder. Music is founded on repetition. Not only in the looping of the song as a whole, but of individual lyrics, as is the case here. She thinks she talks too much, and she thinks it over and over again. She knows the cycle is happening again, but she feels helpless to stop it. We see that in all of the lyrics in this section. It begins with \u201cI\u2019m here again \/ talking myself out of \/ my own happiness\u201d, another depiction of how helpless she feels in the face of this cycle she can\u2019t help but participate in.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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If I see a blue car today<\/span><\/i><\/p>

We’ll probably have to break up<\/span><\/i><\/p>

So I close my eyes while I drive<\/span><\/i><\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

And if it rains then it rains<\/span><\/i><\/p>

And we’ll be over by May<\/span><\/i><\/p>

That’s just the deal that I made<\/span><\/i><\/p>

(In my head)<\/span><\/i><\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

I’m takin’ everything I see as a sign, and<\/span><\/i><\/p>

I know it’s crazy, but what if it’s right?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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All of the scenarios listed above are a perfect example of thought neutralization. Thought neutralization occurs when, in an effort to suppress or prevent an intrusive thought, you attach arbitrary conditions to give yourself control. Dr Marianne Trent, clinical psychologist and trauma specialist, says that \u201cIt is like bargaining with yourself: if I think or do something, it will make something else more or less likely.\u201d<\/span> Intrusive thoughts can make you feel like you\u2019ve lost control over yourself and the world around you. Thought neutralization is an attempt to regain control.<\/span><\/p>

This section also highlights another important aspect of obsessive-compulsive thinking: People with OCD know these thoughts don\u2019t make sense. Rapp says that \u201cI know it\u2019s crazy, but what if it\u2019s right?\u201d It\u2019s not rational, but it feels easier to complete a small compulsion and take up some time rather than not and risk the intrusive thought becoming reality. <\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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Okay, having said all that, do you still wanna be with me?<\/span><\/i><\/p>

‘Cause like, I-I wanna be with you, like<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Like maybe even forever<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Holy shit, okay, maybe not forever<\/span><\/i><\/p>

I mean like I’m not saying not, forever<\/span><\/i><\/p>

I-I actually have no idea what I’m saying<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Are you mad at me?<\/span><\/i><\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

‘Cause it’s cool if you are, right? Like, I don’t care<\/span><\/i><\/p>

But like if-if you are, then I’m gonna resent you<\/span><\/i><\/p>

I-I’ll forgive you<\/span><\/i><\/p>

But I was just wondering like, okay, like, is this a sign?<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Do I actually hate you?<\/span><\/i><\/p>

I just wanted to be honest, right<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Like, do you still love me?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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This section is the one that feels the most remarkably connected to the obsessive cycle within OCD. For one, the lack of certainty or willingness to commit. This is especially prominent in relationship OCD, which can specifically target the commitment inherent in a relationship as its central focus. This section also represents the range of thougths encompassed in relationship OCD. She goes from \u201cAre you mad at me?\u201d to \u201cDo I actually hate you?\u201d and then back to \u201cLike, do you still love me?\u201d All of these thoughts connect back to that lack of certainty that OCD causes in relationships. Psychologist Susan Albers says that:<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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At the baseline of the relationship, that safety and security doesn\u2019t feel like it\u2019s there \u2014 there\u2019s this constant questioning. It means you can\u2019t relax, enjoy and sink into the relationship. It\u2019s difficult to live with and it\u2019s difficult on the partner, too.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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It\u2019s a cycle of questioning of yourself and of others that never ends, in a way that is shown beautifully within \u201cTalk Too Much.\u201d She talks about being \u201chere again \/ Talking myself out of my own happiness\u201d. This is not a one-time issue, it\u2019s a continuous pattern that disrupts relationships and interferes with her happiness. That is what relationship OCD is without treatment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Relationship OCD can take over your life and make meaningful relationships a constant energy drain to maintain when you\u2019re battling intrusive thoughts about every aspect of it. That\u2019s why \u201cTalk too much\u201d is so valuable. Music has the power to verbalize those thoughts and feelings in a way that can be extremely validating to listen to. If this singer I admire thinks like this and feels comfortable sharing it, then it can\u2019t make me a horrible person to have those thoughts too. It\u2019s a comforting shield against a disorder that is so dependent on shame and fear. Rene\u00e9 Rapp used her artistry to, intentionally or not, vocalize an experience shared by many people. Rapp has never publicly discussed OCD as a factor in her songs or her life. Nonetheless, I have never felt so represented in this struggle before.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Want to be part of the project ?<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Whether you have media to submit, personal experience to share, or anything else, we want to hear from you.<\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tContact Us<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Talk Too Much: What is ROCD? Relationship OCD can take many forms. It can be intrusive thoughts about the integrity of the relationship, such as persistent fear that your partner or yourself is going to cheat. It could be about the integrity of the people within the relationship. This can cause self doubt about your ability to sustain a relationship, or doubt about your partner that causes you to pick apart all of their behavior for signs that you aren\u2019t meant to be together. It\u2019s an insidious subset of the disorder that can make maintaining relationships incredibly draining and challenging without treatment. \u201cTalk Too Much\u201d by Rene\u00e9 Rapp is a very accurate depiction of relationship obsessions and compulsions. It covers multiple intrusive thoughts that can be associated with it, some of which can also overlap with other categories of obsessions. The song is absolutely worth listening to, and the lyrics are especially valuable in understanding what Relationship OCD can look like. Tasted the blood in my mouth And left you there to bleed out It didn’t feel like a dream \u00a0 Woke up and you looked so cute Don’t think I could love you more So, what the hell does it all mean? This first section could be interpreted as both harm OCD and relationship OCD. It\u2019s implied to be centered around a romantic partner. However, the focus of the thoughts are on physical harm. \u201cAnd left you there to bleed out\u201d is the line that feels the most aligned with relationship OCD. OCD as a whole is centered around fear. Intrusive thoughts are the worst possible outcomes brought to life. Therefore, relationship OCD tends to center on the relationship harming the person with OCD, their partner, or both of them. In this case, the protagonist fears hurting her partner just to leave. This, combined with the line of \u201cDon\u2019t think I could love you more\u201d implies that during the dream, she didn\u2019t love her partner. This is a common fear within relationship OCD, that you don\u2019t truly feel love for them, or that the love you feel isn\u2019t \u201creal\u201d love.\u00a0 Another point this section brings up is how these thoughts and feelings can ebb and slow. Sometimes the relationship can be painless and easy, and moments later you\u2019ll be overwhelmed with these intrusive thoughts. Those two phases can shift in severity and amount of time they last, and often can cause all relationship imagery to have the potential to be triggering. I’m here again Talking myself out of my own happiness I’ll make it up ’til I quit I wonder if we should just sit here in silence ’cause Ooh, I think I talk too much Ooh, I think I talk too much Ooh, I think I talk too much I debated removing the repetition from this at first. The point was the lyrics, so I didn\u2019t need to show the same line more than once. But after further reconsideration, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s correct. The use of repetition is actually what draws me to music as a potential representation of OCD. OCD is a cycle. It happens over and over again, obsessions and compulsions feeding each other. Repetition of the thoughts, of the compulsions, of the cycle itself, all of this is integral to the disorder. Music is founded on repetition. Not only in the looping of the song as a whole, but of individual lyrics, as is the case here. She thinks she talks too much, and she thinks it over and over again. She knows the cycle is happening again, but she feels helpless to stop it. We see that in all of the lyrics in this section. It begins with \u201cI\u2019m here again \/ talking myself out of \/ my own happiness\u201d, another depiction of how helpless she feels in the face of this cycle she can\u2019t help but participate in. If I see a blue car today We’ll probably have to break up So I close my eyes while I drive \u00a0 And if it rains then it rains And we’ll be over by May That’s just the deal that I made (In my head) \u00a0 I’m takin’ everything I see as a sign, and I know it’s crazy, but what if it’s right? All of the scenarios listed above are a perfect example of thought neutralization. Thought neutralization occurs when, in an effort to suppress or prevent an intrusive thought, you attach arbitrary conditions to give yourself control. Dr Marianne Trent, clinical psychologist and trauma specialist, says that \u201cIt is like bargaining with yourself: if I think or do something, it will make something else more or less likely.\u201d Intrusive thoughts can make you feel like you\u2019ve lost control over yourself and the world around you. Thought neutralization is an attempt to regain control. This section also highlights another important aspect of obsessive-compulsive thinking: People with OCD know these thoughts don\u2019t make sense. Rapp says that \u201cI know it\u2019s crazy, but what if it\u2019s right?\u201d It\u2019s not rational, but it feels easier to complete a small compulsion and take up some time rather than not and risk the intrusive thought becoming reality. Okay, having said all that, do you still wanna be with me? ‘Cause like, I-I wanna be with you, like Like maybe even forever Holy shit, okay, maybe not forever I mean like I’m not saying not, forever I-I actually have no idea what I’m saying Are you mad at me? \u00a0 ‘Cause it’s cool if you are, right? Like, I don’t care But like if-if you are, then I’m gonna resent you I-I’ll forgive you But I was just wondering like, okay, like, is this a sign? Do I actually hate you? I just wanted to be honest, right Like, do you still love me? This section is the one that feels the most remarkably connected to the obsessive cycle within OCD. For one, the lack of certainty or willingness to commit. This is especially prominent in relationship OCD,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1274"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1274"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1274\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1309,"href":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1274\/revisions\/1309"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1274"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1274"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ocd-media.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1274"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}